


Providence

by mallaidhsomo



Series: Duyên [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Kaidan Goes to Andromeda, M/M, N7 Day, POV Kaidan Alenko, POV Scott Ryder, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Synthesis Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:42:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27429646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mallaidhsomo/pseuds/mallaidhsomo
Summary: The last time all of them had been in the same room had been the one-year anniversary of the end of the war. The Alliance had thrown a party to celebrate, and of course, the living Normandy crew had been the guests of honor.It was one of the worst nights of Kaidan's life.
Relationships: Eventual Scott Ryder/Kaidan Alenko, Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard
Series: Duyên [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2003986
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	Providence

**Author's Note:**

> Written for N7 Day 2020 :-) 
> 
> This is a prologue piece for what will eventually be a longer series. 
> 
> Extra special thanks to [ ladyamesindy ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyamesindy/profile) and [ UrdnotFLEXtheJediBard ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/UrdnotFLEXTheJediBard/profile) for being my betas for this little piece.

_Kaidan_

Liara showed up at exactly 1830, perfectly punctual as always, dressed in a yellow tunic with grey leggings. She greeted Kaidan with a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"It is good to see you," she smiled, cupping his cheeks in her hands. "You look good."

Kaidan snorted, covering her warm hands with his own. "Am I supposed to look terrible?"

She frowned slightly, dropping her hands to her sides. "No, but the last time we saw each other…"

She didn't need to finish her sentence. He hadn't seen Liara, or anyone from the Normandy save James and Steve, for a year. The last time all of them had been in the same room had been the one-year anniversary of the end of the war. The Alliance had thrown a party to celebrate, and of course the living Normandy crew had been the guests of honor.

It was one of the worst nights of Kaidan's life. The celebration of what they still had couldn't overshadow the constant reminder of what they'd lost. What _he_ had lost. 

There was a speech about John, the unveiling of a statue in his honor, and when the tarp had been pulled down off the colossal metal visage of his dead lover, he thought was going to be sick. He could no longer hear the clapping, the cheers; the only sound in his ears was the frantic beating of his heart, his hitched breaths pulling into his lungs. Tali had reached over and taken his hand, squeezing until he was brought back to the present. She didn't say anything; what was there to say? She just held his hand, letting him squeeze as hard as he needed, until the ceremony was over and he could escape outside before he had to talk to anyone that wanted to tell him what a hero he was, how brave.

He went home early, to an empty apartment that was just as suffocating as a crowded room.

The condo went on the market the next day and he relocated to the orchard.

"I'm doing better, Liara. Coming out here helped."

"You mean isolating yourself?"

He sighed, heading into the kitchen to pour tea for both of them. "Liara…"

She followed him, helping herself to the cabinets to dig out mugs. "We are just worried about you, Kaidan. We all lost a great deal, but you more than most. You locked yourself away out here…"

She trailed off, and followed him into the living room, where they sat facing each other from opposite ends of the coffee table.

Kaidan sighed and blew over the lip of his cup before he spoke. "What do you want me to say, Liara? His face is _everywhere_. And anyone that I talk to wants to talk about him, how wonderful he was, how he saved us all. Everyone missed him, and not a single person gave a shit about what he meant to _me_."

She didn't answer, just stared into her tea for a moment before taking a sip.

"This grief… it's changing me, Liara. And that isn't the person I want to be. It isn't the person John would want me to be. As long as I see him everywhere, all the time, I can't move on."

Liara sat forward, setting her cup down on the table. "So what are you going to do?"

Kaidan sighed. He had practiced this conversation, in various forms, but when it came down to the actual conversation … well.

"I um… remember when you and I talked about the Andromeda Initiative and the arc that they were building? The Exodus?"

Liara blinked, but otherwise didn't react. She knew, and so did Kaidan, that by giving him the information on the Andromeda Initiative, information only a select few people knew about, that she was giving him an alternative. She may not want him to take the option, but she obviously felt strongly enough to offer it to him.

"Kaidan…," she said softly.

Kaidan nodded. "I already signed on the dotted line. When the ark leaves in two weeks, I'll be on it. I signed the orchard over to Steve. He fell in love with it the last time he was out here; I know it'll be in good hands."

She nodded, and Kaidan could see tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. "Have you told the others?"

Kaidan shook his head. "Just Steve so far. I’ll tell the others at the party next week."

Liara sighed, reaching out to take his hands in hers. "When I told you about the Exodus, I knew there was a chance you would want to be on it. But I must admit that hearing you actually say the words makes me very sad. You are one of my dearest friends and I will miss you."

He squeezed her hands, smiling to hide the tears that were threatening. "I'll miss you too, Liara. But I think this is the right choice. I need a fresh start, and I'm sure there's work in Andromeda for a retired Spectre." He offered her a small smile, which she returned as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"And you're sure about this?"

"I lost everything, Liara. I don't want to lose anyone else, but if I don't move on, I'll lose myself. I owe John more than that."

~*~

_Scott_

There was a soft knock at the door of Scott's cabin, followed by SAM's voice announcing Cora's presence.

Right on time.

When he had retreated back here, he knew almost down to the minute how long it would take her to come check on him.

He opened the door and walked back to his desk without making eye contact. Cora's soft sigh followed him, the only indicator that she had entered the room.

"How are you holding up?" she asked, almost a whisper.

Scott scowled at the floor, which was better than scowling at Cora. How did she _think_ he felt? He had technically died, _again_ , and now the Archon…

"He has my sister, Cora." His voice was flat, low and menacing.

She came up to him and hugged him, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting their heads together. "We'll get her back," she promised.

Scott snorted, staring absently out the window of his cabin at a field of stars. "If anything it happens to her…"

She clasped his shoulders and pulled away enough to face him. He stared into her eyes, serious on the verge of anger, which surprised him a little. "What, Scott? You'll what? Charge in there like a bat out of hell with no thought to your own life?"

He just stared at her. Well… yeah, come to think of it, that's exactly what he'd do.

"You scared the _shit_ out of me, when you crashed back on Khi Tasira. _Again_. These crazy stunts are going to get you killed, Scott." She squeezed his shoulders a bit to emphasize her point.

He raised one eyebrow, regarding her. "'Stunts'? Cora, this _job_ is going to kill me. I knew from the beginning there was very good chance I'd end up like my Dad." He gave a fatalistic shrug. "I have a job to do. If my life is the price, then I have to be willing to pay it."

She shook her head, eyes widening in disbelief, before taking a step away from him and waving a hand between them. "Knock it off with the martyr complex crap, Scott. Not with me. This cluster needs you, even after all this is over. You're a symbol to us now."

Scott pulled a face, lowering himself onto the couch. "I don't want to be a symbol."

Cora shrugged, taking a seat next to him. "I know, but you are. And we need you. And goddess knows you deserve something of your own after all this is over." She sighed, laying her head on his shoulder. "Sara wouldn't want you to throw your life away like that, Scott."

Scott made a disgruntled noise, bumping their heads together. "I lost everything, Cora. Back in the Milky Way, I lost my career, friends, relationship. Then I came here to start over and I lost my Dad." He sighed, letting his eyes slide shut. "I can't lose Sara. I don’t want to lose anyone else."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you want to read more of my WIPs, come visit me on [ Tumblr ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mallaidhsomo)
> 
> Duyen also has a [ playlist on Spotify ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2sVvqlevVXiZKWklKB52YF?si=lC37KPxlSnCN0IYTfGePCw).


End file.
